Tuesday, tuesday...

I love long weekends, there always seems to be so much fun to be had. Maybe it's because you have more fun time left over after all the errand running or maybe it's just becuase it's longer, either way it's just more fun if you ask me. As my husband said this morning, why can't we have 3 day weekends and 4 day workweeks? I wonder the very same thing. :)

So this weekend was nothing short of spectacular, so many fun things and so little time to write. Little Man gave up the training wheels on his bike. He's been riding his bike with the training wheels barely touching for awhile now but he was just not ready to let the security of them go. He kept saying "maybe when I'm 6", well he'll be 6 on Thursday (still seems sureal that he'll be 6) so on a whim we decided to try to get him to take them off. It was Saturday and in we decided to go for a bike ride to the park. As we started out we asked him if we should take his training wheels off with the intention of taking them off when we got to the trail that leads to the park. At first he said no and started to fuss about it but a few minutes into the ride he asked to have them removed to both our shock and amazement he took right to the bike. It was a little rocky at first but in a flash he was off and riding like a champ. Both Daddy and I were so proud we were near tears. There is just something about seeing him taking off on his bike for the first time, I don't know it's indescribable.

Then there is Sweet Pea, who is cute, funny and ornery all at the same time! She is such a sweetheart but has an attitude all her own, I guess you could say she is spirited (much like I was as a child, so I'm told). She's doing great on potty training and I couldn't be more proud. We finally took out the princess panties for her to wear and although she's having an issue with getting the bm's in the potty the rest is done. Hopefully soon we'll be all finished with that. It amazes me how fast they both learn things. We've also been working on getting her to go to sleep on her own again. She used to be such a champ at that, we'd read some stories, give her a kiss, say goodnight and all was well with the world. But a few months back brought an ear infection and that turned her world upside down so we've been slowly working on getting her back to sleeping well again. She is still not real happy about it all but she is going to sleep on her own again, thankfully.

I have been exhausted to say the least. Between work with all it's deadlines and no real clear work direction, my thyroid needing rebalancing and Sweet Pea not sleeping...I have been less than a functioning human being on many an occassion as of late. Add on top of all that the worst seasonal allergies I've ever experienced and sometimes I just want to runaway from it all. This morning was one of those not so shining moments as a mom. The morning started great, Sweet Pea slept all night, I woke up the first time the alarm went off and got in the shower at a decent hour and I was actually going to be ready in time to almost catch the early bus I like to catch. Then slowly like a knitted blanket things started to unravel. First I hadn't taken my coffee cup out of my work bag so it didn't get washed or filled with the fresh brew I need to get started in the morning. Then, since I got up and going so early I was determined to make it to the gym on lunch but couldn't locate my tennis shoes. Followed by not being able to find my sweater I wear on the bus because all bus drivers think they are touting around eskimos. Then we finally all clatter into the car and it begins. Any mommy knows what I'm about to say here.

Sweet Pea: "I'm hungry!"

Mommy: "It's okay sweetie, you'll get cereal when you get home."

Sweet Pea: "I'm thirsty!"

Mommy: "I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you, you'll get something when you get home."

Sweet Pea begins screaming and crying. Daddy in an attempt to redirect askes if she can sing her ABC's with a resounding "no". He quickly follows with an, "okay how about Twinkle, Twinkle" and again "no". So he starts to sing anyways which puts her over the edge. Now since she's really mad, Little Man thinks it's funny and decides to start singing as well to continue to egg her on, not sure why this is so appealing but it must be a sibling thing. So by now all heck has broke loose in our van this very early morning. I try the, turn the radio up to drowned out the screaming trick, which sometimes works but not today. Then I give up and finally yell, "ENOUGH!" becuase...well...I had, had enough. This is the moment when she begins to cry and I felt like the worst mother on the planet. I suddenly want to shrink into non-existance or runaway even though I know I can't. This is when it suddenly feels like everyone else can do this right but maybe I'm not cut out for it. Daddy tries to reassure me that all is okay but as a mommy it should be my job to be forever patient, to know the right things to say when and to always keep my cool. Today I failed at my ideal mommy job and I feel awful and horrible and wish I could take it all back. But I also know after a few years of experience that this too shall pass. And as my favorite saying goes, "20 years from now they won't be sitting in a pshychologists office saying, "It all started when mommy (fill in the blank)...". So here's to a better rest of Tuesday and hopefully no lasting emotional scars.

Here we go again...

I know, I know, my diary as a little girl looked much like this, start/stop/start. It's like I have so many things I want to say and keep track off that it feels so overwhelming sometimes so instead of finding a way to organize it in my head I just ignore it all together. I do that in life sometimes also, if things feel all too overwhelming I just sort of shut down. I try not to and don't always realize I'm doing it but I still do it sometimes. Guess bad habits die hard. So I'm going to make it point to try to blog at least once a week just so I can get all that's in my head out, or maybe not all of it but at least some and then I can sort through the rest later. So here goes...

Well today is Friday, before labor day weekend so we get early release at work which means we get to leave 2 hours before our appointed leave time. Yay! Thankfully since I'm so unmotivated to work today it's not even funny. Then there was the coffee issue. I had forgetten to grab breakfast this morning so I decided to run to the bagel shop downstairs. They usually have a flavor of the day coffee and I always see it but never try it. It's usually something yummy like caramel truffle, chocolate macademia nut or something of the like. So it's Friday, I'm feeling unmotivated and I'm already going to carbo load on a bagel and I figure why not, "add a large coffee to my order please", I say to the girl ringing me up. I grab my cup, turn around with anticipation similar to that of Christmas and then I see it, the flavor of the day. The flavor of the day today is blueberry cobbler, really, blueberry cobbler? So who was sitting around thinking one day, "you know a great flavor of coffee I haven't see yet...blueberry cobbler". It's almost akin to cherry covered cheesecake flavor. Now don't get me wrong, I love blueberry cobbler and most definitely love cherry cheesecake but I prefer to eat those edibles instead of drinking them. Hmm, oh well at least it's Friday before a long weekend and I have early release to look forward to!